My final scripts have improved significantly after the feedback from Jody Smith of Channel 4 to fit the target audience of Stupendous. Before the changes my scripts were of good standard but did not fit the budget of the production and may have offended certain people. In the feedback Jody stated that I must reduce the amount of characters and sets to save on money. From her feedback I removed scenes in the Santa Claus' bedroom in the first sketch which were unimportant not needed. These scenes had few or no funny material included and it is therefore beneficial for me to remove these scenes which are not needed. The sketch is equally funny without these scenes.
My feedback also recommended me to reduce the amount of characters in the second sketch who were uneeded. This was to save on actors/actresses wages. From this suggestion I removed the characters Grandma and Mr Deans from the sketch as these characters only had a minor role at the start of the production and was not included in the rest of this sketch. The sketch is equally funny without these characters involved and the humour in the starting driving test centre scene is not affected.
Jody stated in her feedback that as the show is targeted at 16-30 year olds, I needed to change elements of the sketch which could be controversial. Such as the black stereotype in the second sketch and the homosexual Mystery Sender in the first sketch. The comedy from the second sketch originally came unintentionally from the racial stereotype that Cleveland, Jackson and Detroit who are black may be 'bullying' Simon who is white. I changed Simon too black and because his Grandma and Mr Deans had already been removed, every character in the sketch was black so their was no racial stereotype.
In relation to the homosexual man in the first sketch, originally the man was a hairy, overweight 30 year old which may have caused offence to homosexual people and may have created a negative stereotype for homosexual people. I changed the character to a smartly dressed man, who smelled and looked nice and was also nervous. This removed the negative stereotype of homosexual people.
Sunday, 23 June 2013
Saturday, 22 June 2013
Friday, 21 June 2013
Task 6: Obtaining Feedback
Jake brinksman from jb04156218
When Redrafting my final script I will take the feedback on bored and change my script to suit a wide audience. My feedback stated that I need to alter my script so I don't offend anyone. The show is targeted at young people and I need to alter the content to ensure it is suitable for this age range. I must also take care in ensuring that my comedy sketches do not offend anyone of any: gender, sexuality or race. The feedback tells me that because the production is on a budget I must remove some sets in my program and also narrow down the characters who are not needed.
I have decided that some sets are not needed and I have decided to remove scenes in the bedroom in the Santa Claus sketch to save on money. Also I have removed some characters from my second sketch who are not needed such as Simon's Grandma and Mr Deans.
I have also edited some characters so I do not cause offence to anyone. I have removed the black stereotype by also making Simon black and because I have removed Mr Deans and Simon's Grandma, all the characters in the second sketch are black. I have also changed the Mystery Sender's persona in the first sketch. Instead of him being a confident, overweight, hairy slob. He is now in fact a shy, nervous, well dressed man.
When Redrafting my final script I will take the feedback on bored and change my script to suit a wide audience. My feedback stated that I need to alter my script so I don't offend anyone. The show is targeted at young people and I need to alter the content to ensure it is suitable for this age range. I must also take care in ensuring that my comedy sketches do not offend anyone of any: gender, sexuality or race. The feedback tells me that because the production is on a budget I must remove some sets in my program and also narrow down the characters who are not needed.
I have decided that some sets are not needed and I have decided to remove scenes in the bedroom in the Santa Claus sketch to save on money. Also I have removed some characters from my second sketch who are not needed such as Simon's Grandma and Mr Deans.
I have also edited some characters so I do not cause offence to anyone. I have removed the black stereotype by also making Simon black and because I have removed Mr Deans and Simon's Grandma, all the characters in the second sketch are black. I have also changed the Mystery Sender's persona in the first sketch. Instead of him being a confident, overweight, hairy slob. He is now in fact a shy, nervous, well dressed man.
Wednesday, 19 June 2013
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